Meeting
a Need
No
matter how much they may enjoy having fun with different people
when young, most people eventually reach a stage where they want
to settle down and spend the rest of their lives with one special
person. This is the reason why most of us get married. It's easier
to cope with the stresses and strains of life as part of a team;
it can be wonderful to make a family together; and it's always good
to have that special person to come home to at the end of a long
working day. But the western tradition of monogamous marriage demands
more than just this. It demands that we also deal with all our sexual
needs with just that one person. And that can create a strain which
causes many otherwise healthy marriages to break.
Despite
the prevalence of sexual imagery in popular magazines, on television
and in advertising, most of us still find it hard to talk about
our sexual needs. We see them as somehow dirty, as an inappropriate
subject even in the most intimate company. Many of us find it hardest
of all to discuss them with our spouses, where we have the most
to lose. Controversial topics like married dating may in fact be
easier to talk about than the underlying problems. So can married
dating offer a solution?
No
matter how hard we may try to avoid it, it's easy to get into a
fixed way of doing things when always sleeping with the same person.
We find the things we like, or the things we're willing to settle
for, and stick with them. Attempts to spice this up can feel awkward
and too artificial, and we may also lack the confidence to take
the lead in doing other things if it's been a long time since we
had any practice. Married dating can offer an opportunity to rediscover
your sexuality without breaking up that most important relationship.
Because you'll be introducing a new person into the equation, you
won't necessarily have to be the one who initiates new things. If
you meet your dates through a specialist venue like www.marriedandlooking.co.uk
they'll understand your situation and will be patient whilst you
adjust.
Married
dating can present an ideal opportunity to explore sexual interests
which you may not have had the chance to explore in your youth.
It can be particularly helpful to people who have got married without
having any prior sexual experience, or with only very limited experience,
and can help them to work out what it is they really want from sexual
encounters. Rather than leading to frustration with the marital
situation, this can in fact help to renew a married couple's interest
in each other and help them to develop new forms of intimacy. Where
one partner has always had to take the lead it can lead to a more
equal relationship.
Because
our sexuality and our sexual desires continue to develop throughout
our lives, a relationship which seemed to provide everything when
you first got into it may later prove unable to satisfy your passions.
This doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship has failed or
that your spouse has let you down - simply that you've changed as
a person. Perhaps your spouse has stayed as slim and attractive
as ever but you've increasingly found yourself attracted to more
voluptuous people; or perhaps you want to try something kinky which
your partner has no interest in. Married dating can make this possible,
and in giving free reign to your desires you may well find that
they are not as overwhelming as they seemed when you were trying
to ignore them. When, through married dating, you are able to find
an outlet for your conflicting feelings, you may find that you are
once again able to properly enjoy sex with your spouse.
Married
dating can also be a means for couples to explore their sexuality
together. When both partners engage in married dating they can get
together again afterwards to discuss what they've learned and how
they feel about it. This is itself can provide an erotic boost to
a relationship. It can also help them to understand each other's
interests and desires without having to address their own sexual
interaction directly. It can be a useful way for them to exchange
ideas about things they might try together.
Sometimes
there are insoluble problems with the sexual aspects of a marriage.
One partner might have sexual interests which the other just doesn't
feel comfortable being involved with, or one partner might have
a sex drive which is much stronger than the other's. Married dating
can offer a long term solution in situations like this, providing
an outlet for sexual appetites which could otherwise lead to resentment.
Sex drive, too, varies over the course of life, and it can be affected
by all sorts of factors (such as pregnancy, medication, menopause
and stress at work), so a couple who are a good match to begin with
may not always be so. However, being sexually less compatible doesn't
mean ceasing to love or support each other, and married dating can
be the perfect complement to a marriage of this kind.
Even
if a marriage becomes completely sexless, many couples find that
they want to stay together. After all, falling in love and making
a commitment are about much more than just sexual desire. But it's
quite natural to want to experience sexual satisfaction, regardless
of your circumstances. Married dating can provide a healthy, respectful
way of resolving this problem which doesn't involve recourse to
prostitution and all its associated ills. What's more, it can lead
to the development of new social contacts and can enrich the life
that a couple share. Most people want to see their spouses happy.
Married dating can let that happiness happen whilst they stay together.
No
matter how committed you are to your spouse and no matter how much
you love them, it's not always necessary - or practical - to be
monogamous. Give married dating a try and you may find that it gives
your marriage a new lease of life.